are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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