Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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