I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
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