I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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