why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
