You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
