I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
