We are two peas in an std pod
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize