is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
