just come out here and I will go home with you...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
