Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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