Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I supernannyed him into submission
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
