i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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