I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Pooping to opera.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
