why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I had to cum in my sink.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
