Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize