dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just had sex bonerless
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
