Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
