Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
