Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
