I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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