I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
