Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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