he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
