already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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