But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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