you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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