Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
These tits shall not be calmed
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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