i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
PANTIES FOUND
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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