question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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