I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
