I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
