I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
