I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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