You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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