the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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