my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
