Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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