I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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