how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
