I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
