I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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