Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
