just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
