Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize