apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
