I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
