Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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