i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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