i permit you to call me
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
time to smoke my breakfast
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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