Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
