Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
