If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
