he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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