Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
