i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
