thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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