The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
