could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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