ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
