Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
