I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
