Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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