What a fucking waste of an outfit
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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