I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I have fence marks all over my body
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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