So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I need a beard to bite.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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